Grief Is Exhausting: 4 Mindful Methods for Calming & Coping With Grief by Julie Potiker

It’s a universal truth that grief is exhausting, harrowing, and can be grueling and unmanageable. I’ve experienced my share of grief, and have written often about how applying appropriate mindfulness tools can help you hang on when the waves of grief wash over you and knock you off your feet.

Here are some tips from my SNAP method to help people coping with grief: 

1. Soothing Touch

Place your hands where you find it soothing, and feel the warmth of your hands as your nervous system calms down. My “go to” place is hands on my heart.

2. Name the Emotion

Name it to tame it, feel it to heal it – as long as you have Mindful Methods tools to manage the emotions, so they don’t swamp you.

3. Act

In my book, SNAP, I share simple practices, my “Mindful Methods Toolbox,” including:

• Ask yourself what you need to hear right now.

• Ask yourself what you need to do right now.

• Ground yourself by dropping your attention to the soles of your feet. How do they feel? Warm or cold? Moist or dry?

• Ground yourself by using a here-and-now stone, rosary or mala. Focus your attention on the temperature and texture of the object.

• Connect with other humans. Try to see someone who cares about you on Zoom or FaceTime if seeing them in person isn’t feasible. A phone call might be enough, or even a comforting text exchange.

• Bring to mind people who care about you, and people you care about, to help you feel loved and safe.

4. Praise

Send healing thoughts to yourself, like “I love you. You’ll get through this.” Or “It’s tough to feel this way, you are not alone.” When you feel a positive mental state, like the love is working, let it fill you up for a breath or two.

Everything you can do to love yourself is what is necessary when grieving.

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